lemme introduce myself:
my name is Sylvia. Sylvie. whatever.
i'm fourteen.
i'm . . .
christ. i dunno.
i want to say something utterly poetic and insightful that will draw you in and make you love me and follow me and blah blah blah - but the words escape me.
story of my life, i guess.
right now, right here:
dead of winter, lost. a bit crazy, running around and getting myself hurt, trying to starve my flesh away. so very, very loud. there's a boy at school who's in love with me. my friends interrogated him for me, a typical bff favor. they asked him WHY DO YOU LIKE HER?????
he answered: "well, gosh. i think she's really pretty, and funny. and she's really hyper. she's really wild."
omg.
i heard this and went: ehgad.
he doesn't know the first of it.
i'm muthafucking nuts.
i'm insane.
not in the pleasant way.
i'm running and skipping and singing so very loudly, saying crazy things, saying wise things, saying things for attention. i'm baking and bombing tests and drinking in class. i'm hungy. i'm angry, happy in my anger. sighing and exposing skin, lighting a smoke and talking fast fast fast about why i need to GET OUT.
i'm manic.
i don't know how much of this is something more, or just my own fucking bullshit. regular teenage bullshit (i need to LIVE, i don't NEED YOU, i'm an adult, yeesh, so lemme go get drunk), regular ME bullshit, people bullshit - the search for something more, something better. getting so lost.
glorifying everything, because we are so scared of slipping away.
cuz we are such fucking cowards.
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