sitting here, eating.
*gasp*
EATING.
how radical.
i was arrested for shoplifting today. first time i've ever seriously stolen anything, and i get caught red handed. i keep trying not to think about it too much, but i guess it's best that i share.
it was all very surreal. i was so scared as they took me to the back room, took my name and further information - but still, i felt like i wasn't really in my body. or, maybe that i wasn't experincing all the emotions that were really there.
shock, i suppose.
they couldn't get in touch with my parents, so they called the cops. that was . . . .terrifying. i was crying and trying to reason with the chief . . . god. they HANDCUFFED me for fuck's sake. i had to walk through the store and outside into the cop car with my hands behind my back, an officer escorting me. people were WATCHING, and i got the feeling, right then, that i had become the example for some parent to point out to their innocent tween.
"No no no no little Sue. That's what you don't want to be."
Down to the precint we rode. they led me into the juvi room and handcuffed me to a bench. one of the officers stayed with me, not doing anything, but just being a constant, motherly precence. she told me about her 16 year old and how she had gotten caught for shit like this too.
i cried on and off, was very weak.
but i was happy enough to rattled off my weight proudly when asked. :)
aren't i sick?
my mom came. she was mad. IS mad. but we'll work through it.